I put my stuff down at the table where we sit today, thinking that Mary and Ashley would be there when I got back from getting food. Lo and behold, they weren't. Instead, there were some sophomores Mary's friends with, and my stuff was still on the table.
I sat down in the corner anyway. Chad Berry was at theother end of the table, with one seat between us. Guess who he's friends with, and guess which friend came to say hi and ended up sitting next to me.
I know I should have said something more eloquent, but I think the beginning stages of 'babbling pile of mush' were coming on. I hurried up and finished my food, and all I said was "Can you please move so I can get out?" I'm not really sure if he realized that I was there in the first place, even though Becky swears that she thinks he did.
I had to walk towards the library really fast, because I was starting to smile and I'm not sure if I wanted him to see that. In the hall, I wrote two poems, which is bloody amazing for me.
Becca and I made a pact this morning that we'd try and talk to them before the end of CAPT, so we;ll see how it goes!
It's been a month. A month since I finally gained the courage to declare my burning secret to the person I wanted to declare it too the most. What do I have to show for it?
Silence. The gained ability to avert my eyes at all costs. The loss much of my dignity.
Becky said that it took three weeks for Tom/Neville to talk to her again after she told him the same thing that I did (to Pepperoni, of course).
Why is it taking so long?? I'd love to just go up to him, and say everything that needs to be spoken of, but 1) I never see him long enough during the day to speak to him 2)I'm waaaay too shy to be able to do that, and 3) I fear that if I was to even try, I'd turn into a babbling pile of mush in a matter of seconds.
Everyone keeps telling me to just go up to him, to talk, but he was the one who was given the choice to call me over break or not; he didn't, so I'm waiting for him before I'll do anything.
Gah.
'Everything' again. Why is it that whenever something new ends up happening in my life, I end up having a new song of the moment? It might just be because this is pretty big, but 'Everything' has surpassed 'Ghost' as the most played song on my laptop, which is saying something.
I have mountains of homework to do today, but of course I'm procratinating again. I've got all night. And it's only 2/3 of Baril's essay, the collage and part of the essay for Clifford, and Lamp's responses. Woot. I love half days.
Life is fun. I'm having fun, and for once I'm not really caring what others think about it. Becca wants me to actually do something, but I'm fine right where I am.
States this weekend!
Cheshire was fun. I've got some hilarious pics from the stands; it seems that Tony really likes butting into pictures, because he's in all of the ones I was taking, AND the one that Lauramarie took of me and Becky. I'm hoping to put them up on Myspace in the near future. I've got a movie from the bus ride home, but you can't see anything; I could only hear what was going on.
So I guess that a lot of color changes are in store for the Tangled Web of Confusion. Linny's stopped liking a lot of the people that she did before, and with her recent revelation, I've got to change another one (but I'm so happy that I get to change it!)
I love having an ex-freshman ninja. Especially one who's been a ninja previously (for Becca). On Friday, she wasn't a ninja from the time Becca's spontanaiety crashed and burned until she became mine at the football game. I find it funny: when Becca asked her to be her 'spy,' she said no, but quickly agreed once Becca changed it to ninja.
I'm having a lot of fun with the situation I'm in. This morning, Becca came up with the nickname 'pepperoni.' So I guess that we all have codenames now!
And now I get to go home and study for my stupid chem test! Yay procrastination!
I just realized that I didn't write anything about my birthday!
It passed in almost complete nothingness, unless if you count the fact that on the day of my party (the 15th), someone got murdered by her stepson down the street from my house (yes, I live on that street). There was almost no drama at my party, everyone had a great time, and I'm 16 now.
I always think of my birthday as the halfway point of the summer, and that was two weeks ago this Sunday. Bonfire Weekend is the last true weekend of freedom before band camp, Becky's graduation party is the next weekend, and then it's the weekend in which I get ready for school. Yay.
Last Monday TOTALLY made my summer worthwhile. Damien Rice, LIVE, at Mohegan Sun! My mom's friend Michelle got me and Drew the best seats ever; they were on the floor!!! Songs he sang that I knew: Volcano (eh), I Remember (!), Cold Water (!), Eskimo (in between), and The Blower's Daughter (!, but I still wish he had played Delicate as his last song instead). I got parts of I Remember and TBD on my phone, so I can play them to Diana the next time I talk to her. I'm really glad that I didn't call her cell phone and leave her a long message with each song, because now I know that she doesn't have Verizon, and my parents would have killed me when they got the bill. Anyway, AMAZING show!!
Going to New Hampshire tomorrow with mi madre and Shelly. Can't wait; hope it's fun. I'm going to be missing Becky's party, but I'll see the crowd again before school starts.
The only reason I'm really online right now is because I got a call from Chris and Becca, asking if my Myspace was still working. Which, of course, it's not. I'm not sure if I'm going to make a new one any time soon, but sometime down the line I might.
"Jumper" by Third Eye Blind. Great song. It's on the mix Becky gave me, and it's all I've been listening to.
The end of the school year. A time to reflect upon what's happened, what mistakes were made, and of hopes for the next year. I don't even need to go into the biggest thing that happened to me personally this year, which also happened to be my biggest mistake. I'm just glad that it's over, and that I can move on. As to other things that have happened this year, I don't really regret anything, and it was fun.
I know that this summer is going to be different. The Group is getting closer, and we're going to be spending a lot of time together.
My weekend:
First, let's start with Friday. Me, Becca, and Mary took the bus to Shelly's house. Drew was already there, and we hung out for a little while. Drew had to leave for a little while, and we still had fun without her. We tried to put makeup on Shelly's dad while he was sleeping, but he woke up. When it got dark out, we started the fire back up, and did the real reason why we were getting together. It was fun to diss out ex-boyfriends. As me, Becca, and Mary threw our stuff into the fire, we talked about what the things represented, and memories we had. Mary and I read our poems, and Becca actually beheaded a teddy bear and threw it in. As it was my turn, a stroke of Fate happened, and "Move Along" came on the radio. As those close to me know, that song was pretty much was made me not sob my eyes out, so that was awesome.
Saturday: only one word can describe The Mullet's party: chaotic. We ran around his yard with Super-Soakers for a little while. When it started to rain, we stayed out for a little bit, but then went into his basement. That was where the interesting stuff started to happen. I won't go into it, because you had to be there to know. James asked Linny out again. I'm happy for them, but I hope that they'll actually talk this time. I think that the last time was a little rushed (I think he did it so Miche wouldn't go after Linny), and I sincerely hope that this time will be better.
Or ends, really. Sophomore year's an endin', and summer's just beginning.
This has put me in a sad, pensive mood.
Just wait till Friday, in which I'm going to try and type a big, long, reflective entry!! But I might not, seeing as I'll be at Shelly's!! So far, only me and Mary can definitely go. Becca's not sure yet, and Drew might not be able to. Oh boy, is this going to be fun! I get to take my pillow, blanket, backpack filled with clothes and other junk, and the ceremonial burning stuff to school with me!! We're taking Bus 6 to Shelly's house, so that's going to be interesting, seeing as she doesn't even go to our school.
Just a random thought: during mid-terms, everything came crashing together, and now it's all gone. Whoa. Where does the time fly.
I'm trying to work on my historical fiction piece for Glover's class. Meh.
Today was Spanish and English. Spanish was extremely tedious, and the poem for English was confusing.
Fiona Apple is coming to the Mohegan Sun on July 24.
WITH DAMIEN RICE.
And Diana's going to be in NY that week, so she might be able to come up for the day!
I think I'm going to faint...
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